Salvage the Broken One

for the past few posts, i have been rambling about my staying whereabouts for next year. and in fact, there is no way i will stop rambling about it after what had happened. i am totally pissed off of myself and also because of the responsible one. i could blame myself for putting the burden on my roommate and relying on her only to do the talking job which is obviously unfair for her.
perhaps if we had done it together, it might have work out better. i am truly sorry for that but i was glad that our friendship was even strengthened after that. i have learnt that everything should be done together. don't we? but what i am totally upset about is the responsible one. i am sorry if i have been treating you cold lately but i can't help it. the moment the responsible one told us that he/she could have other options apart from living with us, i could not bear looking at you at that moment. so would if make any differences if you told us now when we have already rejected the offer? maybe it wasn't your intention at all and it wasn't your fault at all. in fact, in this whole situation there is nobody fault. it just happened for a reason. i have never really been talking about people on my blog but for this time, i cant help it. do i need to remind you how difficult it was to find a house? it is not like a piece of cake. and because you have never went through the whole trouble of finding a house before, you never know how difficult it was. reality check please. i am might be unhappy with you right now and i know it is incredibly wrong to write about it on the blog but i can't bear the faking of pretending that it was fine for us. because IT WAS NOT FINE AT ALL FOR US. not me and not her. i guessed i need time to be fine with you again.