I don't feel the best of myself anymore.

The author of this blog has somehow decided to reappear.
Lately, i start to feel my life is so routinized and I could even possibly predict the happenings for tomorrow. I do not like it. There is no sparks, surprises or happiness in it. Everything is so monotonous, blunt and flat.
Sometimes I feel I am so isolated and lonely. There are so many things that I bottled up in myself that I wish I could let it go.
I don't hate my uni life, I just despise the life i am having now. Everything feels so out of place and I get upset easily over extremely trivial matters. I blame on the damn imbalance hormones in women. When will this holding back of fear and insecurity leave me? At times, I wish I was a kid instead, cuddling under my parents shield and absolutely free from worries. I do not want to grow up and be the other despair adult. Life is so not a box of chocolates and sadly....

I don't feel the best of myself anymore.