i miss her

i never thought one and a half year will flew by so fast..extremely fast..i still can remember the first day i stepped into my room...which used to be in block 1 during sem 1. and that's when i found my roommate. though her stuffs were there already, she wasn't around yet. i only met her in person at about 8 pm... at first, i was scared. she is kinda large in size, definitely bigger than me. and she doesn't smile much. the first day just ended like that - with a hi and i am shen and i am gash. during the first week, i haven't really talked much to her unlike most of my others friends who already clicked well with their roommates. i guess it was mainly my fault because i did not take the initiative to mingle with her as i sticked to my malaccan friends most of the time. i felt bad at that time. but thank goodness it wasn't like that forever. eventually, i learnt more about her and i realized i have never regretted for changing my room. though she wasn't my roommate by registration, somehow it is fated that we ended up sleeping in the same room. and obviously i could never be more grateful than that. many people told me that they are afraid of gash. even i was in the same thinking like them in the early of knowing her. but do not be tricked by her look. she is one of the sweetest friend i have ever known. though she might have mood swings from time to time, i eventually got used to it. in fact when she doesn't, i feel weird. she is not someone who she seemed to be from the outside. she is pretty weak physically as she falls sick easily. she always make us worried and in fact she is like the mama in our house. i have been sleeping with her every night through out my life in intec. both of us are crazy about japanese and korean entertainment and that makes us get along even easier. i still could remember those days where both of us wake up as early 5am just to watch a golf-mike video which just finished downloaded this morning. those good old days which i know will never come back again. and gash definitely understands me well that i ended up telling her everything about me. she knows i cry a gallon whenever i watch sad movies and she is definitely the first to offer me tissue to shed my tears.. whenever i am down in dilemma, she is the first i seek after for advice. to me, she seems so diligent and wise, someone who i can count on. though she has an emo part of her, i guess that makes her more unique. her fav statement of "i wan to die" has become so immune in my ear...lol...i really miss her.

and today she has left. i will not be able to see her again. even though that would be the last time i meet her, i did not hug her or say a proper good bye to her. i don't know why. i just couldn't express myself when i see her packing her stuffs and tidying her hair. she is definitely not the kind of touchy touchy person so not am i. we just stood there like strangers. i feel sad. that moment i wanted to tell her so many things but no words came out. i am wordless..

and she closed the door. out of my sight.

and that moment i know i am too late.

i just sat in the room crying the whole day.

I MISS U GASH.

take care and all the best to u.

don't forget your this crazy roommate who always disturb u.

thanks for being there when i need u.

i am glad to have known u.

take care.

bye

bye.

bye

signing off,

the sad me.