Blogging is a crime

i started blogging when i was only 14 years old, the moment when blogs weren't that popular yet among the teenagers. my interest to blog was introduced by my sister who was learning web designing during that time in her KDU College. in fact, i blog for fun and i learnt by myself to design and arrange my template as my sister refused to teach me. i still have the link to my old blog and seriously, it is a bad blog, unorganized, plain, boring and messy blog. but at that time nobody will visit my blog for my friends weren't aware about blogs yet. at that time, i blog for personal interest only.
but eventually my blog died by the end of form 3 due to pmr i supposed...i stopped blogging for nearly two years. the urge to blog exist again once i completed my high school studies where i started blogging like an expert.... redesigning my whole template and links too. during that time, blogging became one of the must-must among the teenagers and if you don't blog, people call you freak.
and i guess i blogged again simply because i wanted popularity and wanted to be known by people..superficiality in me. and sincerely from my heart, if could redrew those wishes, i will do it immediately for i regretted for that.

this blog of mine have existed for nearly 3 years, a 3-year old blog...should i be proud of it? initially, the only people who will visit my blog are only those who are truly close to me and those who are my ex-classmates...
and those days i blogged bout minor minor stuffs...in fact, when i read back my old posts, i sensed lots of immaturity in it...
when i entered intec, my blogging reduces rapidly due to time limitations and sucky internet connection..but my malaccan friends urge me to blog more for that was practically the fastest way to keep them updated about my whereabouts...
in sem 2 of my intec life, i began to blog like crazy.every singe week a new post and every month a new template..... and because of my blog, people starts knowing me. unknowns leaving messages around and people started talking about me. at the beginning, i was glad about that but as time passes by, i guess that wasn't what i wanted... and sometimes when i really wanted to write about my deepest feelings, i have second thoughts considering the ultimate effects of doing so..
because of that, i rarely blog about my feelings..
i only blog about my happiness and my friends. i don't blog about myself, my emotions and my sadness.

and that moment, jpa started warning those scholars with blogs including me. they reminded repetitively that blogs are not good and blogs are dangering your future. at that time, i was like, duh who cares??? i don't criticize people in my blog... but the weird thing is after the reminder from jpa, more and more people around me started establishing blogs and started blogging like crazy.

many people asked me why i refused to put a counter on my blog so that i will know how many people visited my blog that day. i just laughed and said lazy. but the truth was i was afraid to find out that only few people will visit my blog in a day...lol, stupidity in me i supposed. and because of that, i never placed a counter in my blog even till day.

even after 3 years of blogging, i always have this perception that nobody will visit my blog except for my sister and my close close friends...i won't expect any outsiders to visit my blog. but i was wrong. totally wrong. i never knew many people knew about my blog and many people knew about me through my blog. and now i can't blog freely anymore.
and because of my blog where many people knew about it, i did a crime from an old post of mine. i have unintentionally hurt my friend even though she said it wasn't my fault that people knew about her secret. but i felt guilty. i was aware it wasn't my fault but the guilt just wouldn't leave me. restless and sick.

and because of some stupids rumours about me spreading in school recently, i was glad that it was holidays for once. at least, i get to be all alone for the whole week, trying to forget my horrendous week. don't ask me what happened cause i am sick of it. and i now am aware that blogs are not a good trend that a teenager must owned.. yes you might be popular through blogs but what's the point for it???
i wish i could turn back time where i blog for myself only.
i know we can place our blog as private but i feel it is too late to do so and it makes no different.
and i promise to myself
that from these days onwards, i will be more careful when it comes to blogging.
and to those people out there, DONT BLOG IF YOU DON'T HAVE A BLOG!!!!!
a wise advice for me.
do not be like me.