Scared.........

shen will be lying if she said she is not scared, not terrified, not afraid of anything...in fact i personally feels that i am afraid of too many things that now i don't even know the feelings of not being afraid anymore...like i said, i flung my trials..thanks to my horrendous math results....though i am sad, there is no way to turn back time....and in fact, shen is currently down with mood swings....when i heard the news of one my closet buddy's father passed away, i was utterly shocked..he is such a great man whom i adore dearly but life is so unexpected. the one moment you are smiling and the next moment you are crying. it strucks into my brain that life is short and there is still many many things i haven't done.... many and countless stuffs... gone the trials and come the haunting moment of finals which is only 3 weeks away...duh, like i have studied or prepared anything....and sometimes i wish if only i don't have to hurdle through all these things...and sometimes i even wondered how my life would be if i stay put in malacca and study stpm instead of going through ausmat which makes me cry every single day???? wouldn't life will be sweeter and more fun?? definitely. everytime when i returned to malacca, seeing all my happy friends with their lives, i feel sucky with my own life....i tried to enjoy but i can't....i tried my very best....but i gave up......
and i felt i did many mistakes in intec and i wish if only i could undo my mistakes...if only things would have been better here.....guess..it's true when people said you are able to survive ausmat in INTEC, you will survive everything in your life..i guess my survival journey is going to end soon and by that time, i will be proud to claim to everyone that i am from ausmat progam and i survived one and half year through....

but
no matter what the fear is within me, shen could never denied the fact that she enjoyed her social life in intec..especially in semester three when i get to know my friends better and when i meet with more new friends....

and when you have a bunch of crazy wacky out-of-mind friends who call themselves Persatuan Wanita Malaysia (PWM), you can never stop laughing and will only ended up with a bad tummy ache....
just like us.

and when you found a really great partner to cam-whore, you can't possibly stop clicking the camera phone even when you're just waiting for the arrival of bus..
just like us.

and when you have friends who are never to stingy to fork out their money to sms you when you are sad, happy or crying, you will always felt belong to that place...
just like me.

and when you have really really funny and understanding classmates, you can never stop teasing them and you can never stop loving them in return too..
just like her...

and when you fall sick, you will never feel more love than ever by your friends who were so anxious about your health, running up and down the stairs several times just to check on you and being there by your side to make sure you are ok...
just like us.

and when you have a bunch of friends who loves cracking out stupid jokes and make fun of each other, you will never be mad even when an ugly shot is taken simply because it makes everyone giggles and laughs...
just like us...

so, i won't say that i am totally sad with my life in INTEC because i know that i still have a great bunch of friends by my side at the end of the day..and i love them more than anyone else!