Flying not so good

i had a whole total horrendous weekend
and at some point i was so frustrated.
if i were to collect the tears i cried, i would make up a whole gallon.
i always thought flying to overseas would be easy after you secured a scholarship.
bullshit.
perhaps it's only for me.

and now i am restless and pondering what would my future beholds me.
is these some obstacles that only i must face?
is these not any stupid jokes?
i told myself everything is gonna be alright.
but i am just lying to myself.
i am scared.
i feels so dark and unsecured.
i am tired of telling people what happened.
i just want my pain to heal.